“Everyone needs an Aunt Betty!” That’s the refrain I repeated throughout the eulogy I gave last year for my beloved aunt, Betty F. Freeman. A loving, kind, and generous woman, she was like a mother to me. After my parents divorced in 1969, I was raised by my grandparents who lived near Aunt Betty and her husband, Uncle Sid, to whom she was happily married for 38 years before his death. They included me in their lives. She gave me the gift of her encouragement. 

She cherished lifelong friendships and was devoted to her family: she cared for her parents as they aged; protected my daughter Mary Francis during Hurricane Fran; supported me and my wife, Mary Lynn, on the birth of our daughter Sydney; and cared for my mother in the final weeks of her battle with pancreatic cancer. Aunt Betty was active in her congregation, Dublin Baptist Church, and balanced her love of family and church with her 41 years of service at the Appalachian Power Company. 

She possessed the gifts of generosity and hospitality. Whenever anyone visited her in her Virginia home, they enjoyed an incredible spread of Aunt Betty’s delicacies: spaghetti pie; corn and butter beans; crab salad; chicken salad; broccoli cauliflower salad; green beans; broccoli casserole…the list goes on.  

Not being able to eat was the first sign that something was wrong with Aunt Betty, who was diagnosed with gastric cancer in December 2022. When it became clear that the Duke Hospital cancer treatments were no longer helping and I needed help caring for Aunt Betty, Duke HomeCare brought their incredible services to Aunt Betty’s assisted living. As her health worsened, we knew that Duke HomeCare & Hospice’s Hock Family Pavilion was the next step. 

As soon as we settled Aunt Betty into her room, the pressure on me and my family subsided. We witnessed the loving care she received. That devotion was epitomized by the aide who helped Aunt Betty shower and said, “Honey, I got you. Just hold me around the neck.” All the staff held Aunt Betty and my family as we spent the last week of her life at Hock Family Pavilion.  

The nurses managed my aunt’s pain and attended to her needs with care and compassion. My family appreciated Hock staff members who regularly checked on us, offering food and support. A chaplain came into Aunt Betty’s room and prayed with us. The staff made us aware of what was happening with Aunt Betty and prepared us for her death. They helped us feel at peace.   

Until you have firsthand experience with this type of compassion and care at the end of life, you might not appreciate it. 

I believe that everyone deserves dignified, high-quality care in their last days. Duke HomeCare & Hospice is the model of that. My family and I will always be grateful. 

P.S. Aunt Betty loved cardinals, which often represents a ray of hope and may serve as a reminder that those who have gone on before us are with us, providing comfort for our soul. My daughter Mary Francis and her fiancée, James Currin, are getting married on June 8. There is no one who wanted to be at that wedding more than Aunt Betty. I am not much of a betting man, but I’ll take the odds that at the wedding of Mary Francis and James, there will be at least one cardinal fluttering around venue. She will be chatty, she will be on time, and she will be a beautiful bird.